Amanda's New Pants
by Lise-Marie
Summary: Kitty decides that Amanda’s pants are a threat to humanity and takes her to the mall to get a new pair. But it is a dangerous mission. Will Shadowcat be able to handle it? Will Amanda survive the experience? Will the pants take over the world? Stay Tune


Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Evo and thank God I don't own the Ugly Red Pants  
  
Title: Amanda's New Pants  
  
Summary: Kitty decides that Amanda's pants are a threat to humanity and takes her to the mall to get a new pair. But it is a dangerous mission. Will Shadowcat be able to handle it? Will Amanda survive the experience? Will the pants take over the world? Stay Tuned!  
  
A/N: Yeah I know Kitty is OOC in this but this isn't a serious fic. I like Kitty, Amanda, and the mall so this isn't meant to be bashing. It's just supposed to be funny!!  
  
Quote: "Hope is necessary in every condition."-Samuel Johnson  
  
* * * * Kitty frowned as she dragged the other girl through the crowded mall. She was on a mission. She probably should be wearing her uniform right now; it wouldn't have hurt to have brought her fellow X-Men along. This was going to be dangerous. Shadowcat was going to rid the world of Amanda Sefton's Ugly Red Pants once and for all.  
  
She turned back to look at Amanda. Amanda looked a little bit scared. But definitely not scared enough. She needed to fear Shadowcat's all powerful fashion sense. Fear it. Feeeaarrr it. Fea-ok I'll stop now.  
  
"Kitty wh-" but she was cut off.  
  
"No questions!" commanded Kitty. "Do not speak!" Amanda whimpered the girl had lost her mind. But the whimper was a good thing. She was fearing the fashion sense.  
  
Kitty scanned the mall for a good store. She would start with The Buckle: home of stylish jeans, and hangout of the fashion savvy.  
  
They entered the store, well actually Kitty pulled Amanda in, but whatever they got into the store. Fashionable girls (and guys) were crowded around everywhere. When the two girls entered everyone turned to look at them. All eyes went to the pants (no not like that you perverts!) people began to whisper.  
  
Kitty looked through the pants on display. There were Silver jeans, Lucky jeans, I Have Fifty Bucks To Spend Jeans jeans, and many, many more!  
  
"What size are you Amanda?" Kitty asked as she held up a pair of jeans to herself.  
  
"I'm-" but she was cut off again.  
  
"Oh yeah I remember you're a cartoon character thus you are unrealistically slim." Kitty grabbed several pairs of unrealistically slim cartoon character sized jeans off the rack and shoved them at Amanda.  
  
"Can I help you ladies?" Kitty turned to see a salesman with too big jeans, and red boxers (oh yeah total hottie).  
  
"Like yeah! My um...friend's girlfriend really needs new pants. I mean look at these," said Kitty motioning to Amanda's pants.  
  
"Yeah I see what you mean. Those are awful," said Salesman in and 'I'm gay bite me' voice (so much total hottie *sob*).  
  
"I mean I, like, almost go blind every time I look at them. There, like, so bright and icksome."  
  
"Yeah those really need to go. Have you seen our new Jeans Your Mom Would Burn if They Didn't Cost Ninety Dollars jeans," he asked showing Kitty a pair of rather low tight jeans.  
  
"Oh those would look, like, totally awesome on Amanda!" Amanda shifted uncomfortably as they discussed her red pants. She thought that they looked good. The jeans that Kitty was currently waving around looked skanky.  
  
"Like try these on too," piped Kitty shoving even more jeans at Amanda. The girl staggered under the weight on the pants.  
  
"What do you think of these?" asked Salesman holding up a pair of jeans that looked like they had bleach stains.  
  
"I don't know," muttered Kitty tilting her head to one side. Amanda gasped for breath.  
  
"A little help over here," she pleaded desperately. Kitty and Salesman ignored her and continued to discus the merits of preshrunk jeans.  
  
With a squeak Amanda toppled over backwards.  
  
"Get up! You're gonna get the jeans dirty!" cried Kitty her valley girl accent forgotten in the urgency of the situation.  
  
"I can't," wheezed Amanda. "These jeans are heavy." It took the combined efforts of both Kitty and Salesman to get Amanda up without damaging the all-important jeans.  
  
"Why don't I start her a dressing room?" suggested Salesman afraid of damaging the jeans more.  
  
Hey!" protested Amanda. "I can ta-" but she was cut off yet again.  
  
"That's a totally great idea!" said Kitty happily. Salesman hung the jeans over the door to dressing room number 9 (number 9 number 9. It's a Beatles song people well more of a chant...).  
  
"Why don't you go and, like, try on those jeans," Kitty told Amanda as if she was very young or very stupid, or perhaps just very fashion impaired. Before Amanda could say anything she was pushed into dressing room number 9 (number 9 num-fine I'll stop you guys probably don't get in anyway).  
  
Amanda looked around the tiny room. It was enough to make a person claustrophobic. Maybe that was why they made the door so short. She wasn't sure that she felt secure trying on jeans in dressing room number 9 (I won't say it). She tried on the first pair and looked the mirror. They looked like they were custom made for her. But that was because all cartoon characters are the same size.  
  
She checked the price tag and almost screamed. Eighty-five dollars!!!$$$$!!!!...$...! Amanda took them off very quickly and very carefully. No way was she spending that much on a dumb pair of jeans. Nope. Not a snowball's chance in hell!$  
  
Before she could try on the next pair. She heard Salesman's voice.  
  
"I'm gonna give you a few more," he dropped a huge stack of jeans on door on top of the other jeans. Amanda heard it crack.  
  
"Eek!" she squeaked (it rhymes! I love rhymes! Blue shoe, fat cat, mog dog err that's not really a word). Quickly Amanda pulled her Ugly Red Pants back on. The door creaked again and then split in half.  
  
The jeans tumbled to the floor in slow motion.  
  
Salesman cried "Nooooo" in slow motion.  
  
Kitty set down the shirt that she was looking at in slow motion.  
  
Lisette got sick of slow motion.  
  
Everything speeded up again.  
  
Thank God. There's no use drawing this story out longer than it needs to be.  
  
Amanda made a break for it. She jumped over the huge pile of jeans, he dodged Salesman and his pants fell down. While Salesman was pulling his pants back Kitty attempted to stop Amanda but with the speed and agility Spiderman (only without the web shooting action) she hurdled the discount clothing rack. Kitty crashed into it forgetting to phase.  
  
"Fashion violator!" cried Kitty. All the fashionable people of Bayville ran towards Amanda. Taking a deep breath she shoved past them and vaulted over one particularly fashionable guy and ran out of the store.  
  
Amanda ran through the crowds of people until she was on the other end of the mall. Then and only then (cliché *screams*) she stopped running and tried to catch her breath. She looked around at the stores. She turned around and saw the store of her dreams (awww) Ugly Red Pants Incorporated. Inside there were racks and racks of Ugly Red Pants. She clasped her hands together in delight and skipped in.  
  
On the other end of the mall Kitty ran out of The Buckle looking angry. She had to find Amanda, she had to destroy the pants.  
  
Then Wanda randomly walked by wearing her uniform. Nobody seemed to notice because obviously wandering around in a cape is not abnormal. Kitty gasped the Ugly Red Pants could wait this was a total fashion emergency.  
  
"Wanda!" she cried running over to the angry looking witch. "That outfit is so totally vampire movie." She grabbed on to Wanda's arm and started dragging her towards PacSun.  
  
"Put I'm here to find my fa-"  
  
"Do not speak!" commanded Shadowcat and pulled Wanda into the store.  
  
* * * * Wow that was a random story. Reviews would really make my day! 


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